In Memory of Wesley Dee Jensen

This past weekend we did get some sad news. James' cousin Wesley ("Wes") had a stroke and the doctors did all they could but he was almost gone. A respiratory was the only thing keeping his body alive. After a while we received a call saying that they had taken him off the respirator and that we were invited to the funeral on Tuesday. James unfortunately couldn't get away from work, he had a training that he was told was mandatory. So I left work early and picked up his sister Lisa and we headed out to Sandy to the Larkin Cemetery. At first I felt like I might be an intruder but after awhile I felt like one of the family. The viewing was very nice, there was a TV by the door to the viewing room and in the lobby that played a video about Wes's life and a book to sign. We had a family prayer in the viewing room and then was invited to come and pay final respects before the casket was closed. Even though I never really knew Wes,(I think I only met him a couple of times) the prayer was so beautiful and watching everyone around me that I have grown to love so much hurt like that made me cry. I have never seen Kim so hurt and having such a hard time. It made me sad but also I was so grateful to be brought up in the gospel and have such a firm testimony in the plan of salvation and to have a sure knowledge that Wes is happier and in such a more wonderful place. It was heartbreaking to watch Nancy (Wes's mom) bend over his casket and give his cheek one final kiss while she cried and said her goodbyes. Her husband Gordon (big Gordy as James likes to call him) had to come over and gentle a slowly pull her away. She helped them fold the fabric into the casket and she sat there for a while smoothing the fabric then the casket was closed and the flowers placed on top. The pall bearers came forward and placed the casket on a little trolley with wheels and we walked down the road behind to the grave site. On that walk down I got to meet more of James' family and was introduced as James' wife. :p for almost the rest of the night. it didn't bother me...it actually made me smile. James' uncle Don came and put his arm around me on the walk down and asked me how my two newest little ones are. At first I had a confused look on my face, I wasn't sure if he was referring to James and I being "newly weds" and all or if he thought that we had kids. Mom Armstrong kinda laughed at my face and informed Uncle Don that I wasn't Nikki...it made more sense after that. I was introduced again as James' wife. :) Don was a lot of fun he talked and joked with us as we walked down. So fun. When we got to the grave site every huddled together against a cold wind that had picked up and we had another prayer and then Dale, Wes's brother, came up with his sister Brenda to read his obituary in the paper and the say a few things about Wes. After Clint got up (another Uncle) and told us that some of Wes' final requests were to not have a funeral for him, to just put him in a pine box, play some music and songs he liked and not have a funeral. Clint said to respect his wishes they wanted anyone to come up and tell some appropriate and fond memories of Wes. Quite a few people got up, from Wes' brothers and sister to his nephews and nieces. He even had two nephews get up and read a couple memories from brothers and sisters who couldn't come to the funeral. Then Clint got back up and said he just wanted to say a few words and didn't want to make it long for fear of not wanting it to sound more like a funeral. He then talked about how we are all children of a loving Heavenly Father and how this life is only temporary and the main goal is to return to our father in heaven and lives with him forever. He said how he knew that Wes was happy now because he was living with his Heavenly Father and how he would want us to remember all the good he did in his life. After his remarks his son Dillon (Wes's nephew) dedicated the grave with a beautiful dedicatory prayer. After a man came down and played the bagpipes while Aisha (Wes's niece) handed a white balloon to all the nieces and nephews they gathered together and one by one let the balloons go and watched them "fly to heaven". After the bagpipes were over and done being played a CD was turned on with a bunch of different songs that Wes loved while people slowly said their goodbyes and left. It was really very beautiful and I felt the spirit so strong, it was so amazing and even though I was just "James wife" I felt like something more, I felt like this was just family and I was prat of it no matter how distant we may be. Before leaving Lisa and I walked over to my Grandma and Grandpa Earl's grave and my Great Grandma and Grandpa Jones. I haven't been to those graves in years and even though I felt a little silly not having any flowers to put on the graves I felt good about going over there...kinda like stopping in to say hi. I wasn't the nicest person to my grandma Earl and I still feel so guilty to this day about it, i have asked forgiveness many, many times but I am still a little unsure if I have been forgiven. We stayed at my grandparents grave for a short while and then headed over to Clint and Sally's for a luncheon. Nikki came to the luncheon (She didn't want to bring Abby to the viewing because Abby has been a little afraid of death lately with her heart surgery coming up) and the kids were in the backyard jumping on the trampoline. Abby came running up to show us a device that will be monitoring her heart for the next 24 to 48 hours. She seemed really excited about it. Lisa left and went to socialize and I socialized with Nikki and Bob for awhile but felt a little out of place so when little Ethan wanted to go out I volunteered to take him out I stayed outside for a while playing with the kids...even after Ethan went back inside with his mom We jumped on the trampoline and played a whole bunch of different games. Then dinner was ready and the 2 oldest went in to eat Gavin stayed out and Ethan came out too so I stayed out with them. i was a really nice day for March. After awhile Abby joined us and we went on playing a bunch of trampoline games like crack the egg and dead man. The last game I was a little self conscience about. I was able to get a hold of James (his training went till 6:30 instead of his usual 7-3:30) to let him know we were here and might even still be here after he gets off. He wanted to talk to Nancy so I took the phone in to find her. After that I made him a plate (which was Sally's idea) and ate dinner myself. Half way through the kids were back asking if I was read to go back out. :) We went back out only for a little while longer...by that time it was getting colder and I was getting tired and sore. so it was time to head back inside. The rest of the night was spent talking with people (James' cousin carol REALLY liked me for some reason I'm not sure why. :p She kept pointing at me and laughing and saying I was so sweet.) and meeting the rest of the people I somehow missed. One of those was James' cousin Dale. He was talking to Lisa and i was standing on the other side of the counter listening but not talking much when he asked about James. Lisa quickly informed him that he was unable to make it due to work and said but his wife did. Dale seemed confused for a minute and said "his wife?" Lisa laughed and said yeah and pointed at me and asked him if we had met he said no and then he apologized. It was cute he kept saying he was so sorry and he hoped I didn't think him rude for staring cause he didn't know who I was at the viewing. he's a really sweet guy, I asked him if he wanted James number and said that James would really like to hear from him he seemed a little surprised and excited and got his number from me. People were slowly filtering out at that point, I started getting quite a few hugs from people and a few tell James I said hi comments. Dale gave me a big hug and said it was really good to meet me and that he would call James. After a few more Lisa and I decided it was time to go. After more hugs and talk to ya laters we were out the door and on our way. I dropped Lisa off and then headed home to tell James ALL about it. He was really sad he didn't get to go but glad that I went. :)